Notes from the Subconscious:
A Musical Memoir by Daniel de Jesús
Introduction
As I set out to document my journey through the creation of each album since 2006, I find myself unsure if what I'm writing is truly a memoir. Nevertheless, I am compelled to capture the myriad emotions and experiences that have shaped my artistic evolution. At the heart of it all lies my identity as a songwriter—a path I embarked upon with no expectations, drawn in by the sheer thrill of crafting music and the exhilaration of performing.
Songwriting became my sanctuary, a realm where vulnerability mingled with metaphor, allowing me to explore ideas too elusive for verbal expression. Looking back on each album, I recognize songwriting as a healing art, though delving into the depths of my psyche can be a daunting task, shrouded in darkness.
Yet, amidst the shadows, I found myself surrounded by an abundance of light—remarkable individuals, talented artists, supportive family, and cherished friends. Collaborations abounded, some fleeting, others enduring, each leaving an indelible mark on my creative journey.
Through the lens of mysticism, spirituality, and the quest for sexual freedom, I wove together a tapestry of music reflective of my environment, upbringing, and core values. Each album served as an intimate journal, offering a glimpse into the labyrinth of my soul.
Though uncertain if this collection will ever find its audience, I am compelled to preserve the genesis of these songs, lest they fade into oblivion. For my own sake, I pen these words, a testament to the passion and purpose that fuel my artistic endeavors.
As I reflect on this odyssey, one truth emerges with unwavering clarity: music is a potent therapeutic tool, and the art of songwriting, a boundless vessel for self-expression. I encourage all, regardless of musical prowess, to explore the transformative power of song—a medium that grants access to the innermost recesses of the soul.
In a world where masks are donned with each passing day, songwriting remains my sanctuary—an avenue to peel back the layers of pretense and connect with the raw essence of being. Through melody and verse, I endeavor to channel the ineffable, to touch the divine that resides within.
With deep gratitude and boundless love,
Daniel de Jesús
2006 From the Subconscious
This debut album was a music collection written in Dejesus’ teens. Triumphant in its approach to modern rock, From the Subconscious married classical stylings with soaring vocals and heavy guitar riffs.
As I recall the beginnings of my music career, I'm transported back to my college days, a time when the notion of pursuing music professionally was but a distant dream. It wasn't until I found myself immersed in an illustration class that the seeds of possibility were sown.
I was already dabbling in songwriting and recording, albeit purely for pleasure rather than any serious endeavor. Playing in other bands felt natural, but the idea of claiming my own voice as a songwriter seemed a far-off horizon. Then came the assignment that changed everything.
Tasked with developing an illustrated album cover, I saw an opportunity to merge my passion for music with my artistic pursuits. With a penchant for watercolors, I embarked on the project, little knowing the twist fate had in store.
Midway through the assignment, the revelation struck: we were to present our music alongside the visual representation. Panic seized me as I grappled with the idea of sharing my intimate creations with my peers. Yet, with bated breath and trembling hands, I played my songs.
To my astonishment, my classmates responded with genuine enthusiasm, sparking a newfound belief in the potential of my music. Encouraged by their feedback, I dared to envision a future beyond mere hobbyism.
Fueled by newfound confidence, I crafted an elaborate CD package, adorned with my illustrations, and set out to entice local record labels in Philadelphia. Though my initial motive was to showcase my graphic design skills, fate had other plans.
Enter Ted Richardson, a figure whose portrayal as a record label owner belied the reality of his private recording studio. Despite the discrepancy, I was drawn to his enthusiasm for my music and his promise of collaboration. And so, our partnership began.
Under Ted's guidance, my songs underwent a transformation, morphing from private musings into polished tracks fit for radio airplay. "From the Subconscious," my debut album released in 2006, bore the imprint of our collaboration, blending elements of modern rock with my ethereal cellist vocals.
Yet, as the years unfolded, cracks began to appear in our professional relationship, revealing Ted's narcissistic tendencies and controlling nature. The initial thrill of collaboration waned, replaced by disillusionment and discord.
Amidst the tumult, one track stands out: "Damn." Rooted in a poignant reflection of my internal turmoil, the song encapsulated the conflict between my Evangelical upbringing and burgeoning realization of my homosexuality. It served as a conduit for emotions too complex to articulate, a window into the depths of my subconscious.
Looking back, I see "From the Subconscious" as more than just an album—it's a testament to my journey of self-discovery, a snapshot of a tumultuous period marked by longing, conflict, and the pursuit of authenticity. And though the road ahead would be fraught with challenges, this album remains a reminder of the transformative power of music and the resilience of the human spirit.
2010 - Hymns for a New Age
This demo never saw its initial manifestation of my’ first electronic album, but all of the ideas and lusciousness of the strings are captured brilliantly in this lo-fi production. An illustration of life after death, Hymns breaks down the barriers between pop and sacred music to create a vision of the netherworld that is luminous.
In the midst of my journey away from the confines of the Evangelical Church, I found myself delving into the depths of spirituality with a newfound curiosity. It was during this period of exploration that the concept of "Hymns for the New Age" began to take shape—an album aimed at unraveling the emotional intricacies of spirituality beyond the constraints of organized religion.
As I immersed myself in research, delving into the genesis of the Bible and the history of Christianity in the United States, I confronted uncomfortable truths about the roots of the Evangelical Church. Disillusioned by its ties to racism and white supremacy, I began to distance myself from its teachings, seeking a spirituality devoid of hate and bigotry.
The songs of "Hymns for a New Age" were born from this tumultuous period of introspection, inspired by a vision of a future where spirituality transcends doctrine and division. I yearned to explore the emotional resonance of spirituality, free from the confines of liturgical traditions and the dogma of organized religion.
As I grappled with my own identity as a queer individual, I pondered the intersection of faith and sexuality, witnessing the struggles of others in reconciling their beliefs with their true selves. In envisioning a new future of divine experience, I sought to create hymns untainted by politics, racism, and homophobia—a testament to the inherent beauty of the human spirit.
Sonically, "Hymns for a New Age" existed as a raw and unpolished demo, a reflection of the constraints of time and resources. Recorded in the humble confines of my Philadelphia apartment, with nothing more than a SM57 microphone and a small Mbox attached to my laptop, the album exuded a lo-fi sensibility. Yet, amidst its rough edges, there lay a jubilance in the strings and a newfound confidence in my vocals, as I pushed myself to new heights of virtuosity.
Though "Hymns for a New Age" may have been left unfinished, it remains a testament to my ongoing journey of self-discovery and spiritual exploration. It stands as a reminder of the power of music to transcend boundaries and illuminate the path to a more inclusive and enlightened future.